Mind Sets

Why is it so hard to make changes in our lives? Why do we often resist even those things that we know the Lord is speaking to us? Why do we enjoy the status quo and prefer to keep things the way they are? Could it be that our minds are set in a certain direction?

A mind-set depicts a mind that is already ‘set’ on beliefs, truths and even actions therefore resistant to change. Have you ever heard the expression, “My mind is set, don’t confuse me with facts!” 

Mind-sets are a combination of the experience and the teaching we have received. They develop through tradition and a way of life that has been formed through these teachings and experiences. Mind-sets can also be described as arguments and strongholds. 

In the Bible, the same Greek word is used for all three of these English words is ‘logismos’ - which also translates ‘logic‘. These mind-sets, this logic can actually keep people from the knowledge of God and prevent them from obeying His truth. Human nature will battle to the death to preserve a deep-rooted mind-set. “I’ve always done it this way, why should I change now?”

Jesus told His disciples, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” 

Jesus had a plan of action to go with the command He gave His disciples. He said that signs and wonders would follow (attest to) those who believe (Matthew 16:15-18). His disciples would operate in a demonstration of the Spirit and of power. 

Acts 4:33 tells us that, “With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all.” 

Then again in Hebrews 2:4, “God also testified to it by signs, wonders and various miracles, and gifts of the Holy Spirit distributed according to His will.”

It is hard to argue with signs and wonders! Lives are changed in the face of such obvious power.

Changing Lives

How many signs and wonders have followed us recently? Do our mind-sets limit the work of God in and through us? Have we argued against a truth because it might mean we would have to change a tradition or life pattern in our own lives? How do we battle these mind-sets and bring in the pure truth of God?

How truthfully we can answer these questions will directly affect the amount of power we operate in in our own lives. 

Part of the battle in changing mind-sets is recognizing wrong thinking. Pride will cause us to defend our way of thinking and close our minds to change. Human nature will defend, argue, debate and contradict if necessary to protect our way of thinking. 

So what must we do, as disciples of Jesus today, to become effective in changing mind-sets so that truth can be revealed? Perhaps we need to remind ourselves that He is with us always, that He is operating in and through us, and that we have the mind of Christ. 

Paul tells us in Col. 1:28 that, “We proclaim Him (Jesus), admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ.” 

Let’s be truthful with ourselves, seek only His truth and then operate in the power and authority of His Holy Spirit. As we do this, just watch those signs and wonders begin to happen every where we go! 

As a result, we will see effective changes in the mind-sets of those we are called to go to, baptize and teach. If we can change the mind-sets, we can change the behaviors and we can effectively bring change in life styles. It has to start in our own life style, though. We need to be listed with those manifesting Life Styles of the Effective and the Powerful.
 

Regional Conferences

Region 1

 Portland, OR
 May 21-23
 Contact: Jim and Kathy Speer
 206 542-3669 or jks4ever1@yahoo.com

Region 2

 St Paul, MN
 Apr 30- May 2
 Contact: Brent and Pam Greenlee
 651 699-2342 or bpgreenlee@prodigy.net

Region 3

 Dallas, TX
 Jun 11-13
 Contact: Gerry and Nancy Gardner
 512 288-2097 or gngard@family.net

Region 5

 Atlanta, GA
 Mar 25-27
 Contact: Jack and Pam McLaughlin
 407 344-2450 or webejam@earthlink.net

Sale With A Heart!

Last October Ed and Linda Hammond (Michigan State Directors) led a rally in their state. Their goal was to bring the UofF leaders together for prayer and fellowship and to share the expanded vision and mission of The University of the Family. They introduced the Parents for Life course and shared what they had received at last year’s international convention in Denver. 

In addition they wanted to provide a time of R&R (rest and relaxation) for the dedicated couples they lead and teach them some effective communication skills. The rally was a great success and, judging from the comments of those who attended, Ed and Linda met their goals.

Along with everything else that was going on that weekend, the Hammonds had a great idea for fund raising for the ministry. They had the couples that attended bring things with them for sale. There were t-shirts and hats, cups and other ministry memorabilia as well as framed pictures, lighthouse pillows, and couple’s coupon books. They placed all the donations on tables and then conducted a silent auction. Couples bid on the things they wanted to take home with them. Not only was this a fun time for all, but the Michigan state rally raised $310.75 from the sales.

We want to commend Ed and Linda for their heart for the couples they lead and for the their creative fund-raising ideas. Last year was a tough one financially for the ministry and it really blessed us to see the team pulling together to help out! We really love and appreciate the UofF family!!
 

Training Opportunities
 
Married for Life Training

19-Feb-04   Deltona, FL
05-Mar-04   Lloyd Neck, NY
05-Mar-04   Wilmington, NC
14-May-04  Pottstown, PA

UofF Combined Training

12-Mar-04  Highlands Ranch, CO
30-Apr-04   Austin, TX 

Training is scheduled often so check the training information page of the website for up-to-date information.
www.marriage.org

Promotions Across the U.S.A.
Georgia

Clarence and Bonnie Toatley have been appointed South Atlanta City Directors.

John and Gayla Lewis are now the Dallas/Ft Worth Area Directors

Reality - 24/7

Around the world "reality shows" are growing in popularity weekly. We heard an estimate the other day that currently there are over 150 reality programs presented at any given time. In our country alone there are anywhere from one to three a night and many of them originated in other countries and were brought here due to their attractiveness there.

What is the appeal of reality programming and why are these programs gaining in popularity? Why is it that millions of people like to sit in their homes and watch other people live their lives? Why do programs that place people in fearful and challenging situations have so much appeal? Why is watching fake weddings, family swapping, and the humiliation of being rejected publicly so intriguing to people? 

Even the home decorating channels have gotten in the act. Neighbors decorating (or destroying) each other’s homes, teams redesigning rooms while the owners are out, and mothers fighting over paint colors are all the rage. Why do people enjoy these programs? It can’t be for the decorating tips since many of the resulting projects appear unlivable. It must be for the drama.

Why do people enjoy living their lives vicariously through others? Does watching someone else be humiliated make the viewers feel better about themselves? Does watching other people confront their fears give viewers the courage to confront their own? Or is it just easier to passively watch others live their lives than to go out and live their own?

Why are people so attracted to these programs? Why do families that are struggling to maintain their own relationships gather together to watch others struggling to do the same? Why do people who hunger for committed, lasting relationships enjoy watching a man or woman develop a relationship with a number of members of the opposite sex, only to reject them one by one? 
 

Relationship

It is interesting to note that the majority of reality programming reflects one consistent theme—relationship. Each of the programs depicts the need for either the creation of relationship or the destruction of it. Survival themes require people to form teams and alliances and to work against other teams. Whether they are on an island or locked in a house, relationships make or break the outcome for each member. The majority of airtime is devoted to participants sharing their thoughts and fears with the audience. Perhaps what they are experiencing reflects similar thoughts and feelings of the audience or perhaps the audience prefers to have those people with whom they have no connection experience the pain and fear instead of them.

Watching men and women be played and humiliated weekly as part of “bachelor” type programming must be better than experiencing similar circumstances in real life. A few short weeks present a microcosm of the dating experience. Every line that has ever been uttered in a single’s bar is heard spoken over dinner or in a hot tub. Every “I love you but…” speech that has ever been delivered is heard with each rejection. Does this make viewers feel better that they are not the only ones searching for lasting relationship? Or does it just confirm their cynicism that lasting relationships are just elusive dreams?

These are questions we need to be addressing if we desire to touch the families of this generation.

In our online store at the www.marriage.org/store website we offer a “survivor” type t-shirt. Where the word survivor is usually placed, we have written family. The motto written below is, Reality 24/7. 

Those around us today may not know they need a Savior, but they do know they are longing for true relationship.  They are hungry to know that they matter to someone—that their life is significant.

Family can’t be lived in half hour episodes one time a week. Family can’t be scripted or faked. Those we live with know us best. Maybe view ers watching hours of dialog between those people on TV are really longing for conversation in their own lives. Or maybe they have given up on family and can relate more to the people they spend time with weekly through their programs. 

Everyone is hungry for relationship. That’s how God created us. First, so that we might hunger for relationship with Him and then that we might desire relationship with each other. 
The hunger that God put in our hearts cannot be satisfied by watching others relate. It cannot be filled with the intensity of other’s emotions or the drama of their hurt and pain. It can only be satisfied when we enter into relationship with Him and then live the relationships He gives us on this earth.

It is interesting to note that television families in the fifties, sixties, and into the seventies were portrayed as idyllic models of peace and harmony. No matter what problem they faced, it could be solved in half an hour. Women cleaned their homes wearing heels and pearls. Men wore suits and, at the very least, white shirts and ties around the house. Children were neat and clean and the biggest challenge they faced were whether or not they would be invited to the prom.

Contrast that to families on television today. Many are broken families with single parent homes. Those who are married have constantly conflicting and tumultuous relationships. Children face incest, drugs, sex, and abortion. Perhaps the television families of earlier days were too simplistic and idealistic to be real, but the families of today reflect nothing but hopelessness and despair. Do they truly depict what the world sees as family? If so, how can we show them God’s plan for family?
 

The Passion

This week the Mel Gibbon’s movie, The Passion of the Christ, opened around the world. 
There has been much debate about many aspects of the movie, but one thing is for sure. In a culture of “reality” programming, people are not prepared for true reality. 

There is nothing more real, nothing deeper in relationship, than what Jesus endured to redeem us all. In a culture where people are living their lives through television and movies, this one takes their breath away. Whether they know it or not as they enter the theater, they are about to confront the greatest reality they have ever known. 

For some it is overwhelming. Those who have become accustomed to the shallow banter of what passes for reality programming, suddenly come face to face with the One who neither defended Himself nor argued His case. They experience, perhaps for the first time, One who is abandoned and rejected and yet loves and forgives. 

God’s timing is always perfect. Why now? Why in this hour has this movie been released in the earth? Is it perhaps that those who hunger for relationship and have been living through the counterfeit might now realize the depth of true relationship? Might it be that those who have given up on commitment, given up on someone truly knowing them and accepting them, might receive the One who loves and accepts them so perfectly? 

Let us not miss the significance of this hour! And let us not revert to old rhetoric and tired sermons. The people around us are hungry for relationship, for belonging, for family! The world can, at best, give them a poor substitute. Many of them have given up on family because of their own painful experiences. Many have never known family. 

What a tremendous opportunity we are now given to reach out to those who are facing this new reality. Family is not perfect. We are all flawed human beings and our relationships reflect our weaknesses and failures. Yet, through it all, when Jesus lives in us, family is a place of blessing and love.

Those around us today may not know they need a Savior, but they do know they are longing for true relationship. They are hungry to know that they matter to someone—that their life is significant. Let us reach out to that hunger and introduce them to Jesus. 

We recently heard Mel Gibson respond to a question about the criticism he has received for the movie, “When you can’t argue with the message, you have to attack the messenger.” Whatever you feel about the movie from an artistic point of view or from faithfulness to scripture is not the point right now. God is using this movie to touch the hearts of those who long for relationship. He is presenting a reality that cannot be turned off or tuned out. He is calling out to the lost because He too longs for relationship with them.

Millions can come to know Him in this hour! Let us ask the Holy Spirit to give us wisdom and discernment in this season that we might speak the things He longs to say to them. 

In Jesus they will find it all! 

Those who long to know a loving father will come to know Him through Jesus (John 14:6). 

Those who hunger for commitment and faithfulness will find it in Jesus (Matthew 28:20). 

Those who are hungry for friendship and companionship will find it in Jesus (Proverbs 18:24). 

Those who long to know the love and legacy of parents will be fulfilled in Jesus (John 14:18). 

• We aren’t the answer—He is! Through Him we can reach out to anyone. 
• We do not have to understand what they have experienced. He does! 
• We do not have to be what they are seeking. He is! 

Whether they are covered with tattoos and piercings or they reek of alcohol, He is the One they long to know. May we be His arms that reach out and His voice that welcomes. May the true reality of Jesus break through the bland counterfeit in this hour and satisfy their hunger and thirst!

U of F Website Expands

This month we have added a message board to our website. 
There are numerous forums that are up for discussion. You can visit by going to 
www.marriage.org/communicate. 

We hope that this new tool will encourage communication between leaders and others that are interested in the ministry. 

Stop by and start a new thread or respond to one that interests you! Let us know what you think!
 

Albania, Angola, Argentina, Australia, Bahamas, Bahrain, Belarus, Belgium, Bolivia, Botswana, Brazil, Canada, China, Colombia, Cook Islands, Costa Rica, Cuba, Denmark, East Timor, Ecuador, Egypt, El Salvador, England, Ethiopia, Fiji, Finland, France, Germany, Ghana, Guatemala, Guyana, Haiti, Honduras, Hungary, India, Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Jordan, Kenya, Kyrgyzstan, Macau, Malaysia, Mexico, Mongolia, Netherlands Antilles, New Zealand, Nigeria, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Philippines, Portugal, Puerto Rico, Romania, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Scotland, Senegal, Singapore, Slovakia, South Africa, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sudan, St Kitts, St Lucia, Sweden, Switzerland, Tanzania, Thailand, Togo, Uganda, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, Uruguay, USA, Venezuela, Vietnam, Zimbabwe

From South Africa

Jan and Alet Strydom, National Directors/South Africa, are now producing a web newsletter that is excellent. You can find it and other news from South Africa at http://www.flt.org.za/marriage/index.htm

Some interesting facts from their website:

• Of the 40.5 Million people living in South Africa, 62.6% (25.4 million) are under the age of 30 - the age at which ministries are most likely to be formed in people. 
• The Youth and Family Census Profile ranked “my future” as having the highest importance in young people’s lives. 
• Family had the next highest ranking with 96% of young people saying it was important. It is our responsibility to ensure that this need is met in our children. 
• A staggering 65% of young people experience divorce. 26% of young people live with a single mother. 
• Only 23% of young people who have asked “what is my purpose”, only 23% have been given a meaningful answer.

Want people to know about reality? 
Send a message with our Family t-shirt. 
Check it out at our website www.marriage.org/store
 

Prayer
 

Praise Reports!
 

International Conventions
 

Guatemala City, Guatemala 
March 11-15
Contact: Gustavo and Roos’Mary Barrios   unifamilia@itelgua.com

Leaders from across Latin America will be gathering in Guatemala this month. Along with the intimacy of praise and worship there will be powerful teachings and precious times of fellowship. Each nation is bringing their unique cultural flavor to share with others. There will be numerous musical groups as well as delicious Latin foods! There’s still time to get a ticket and fly off to Guatemala! Hope to see you there!

London, England 
October 29-31 
Contact: Roy and Elaine Hitchman uk.office@mmi-europe.or

For those who really like to plan ahead, what could be better than Europe in the fall? There are great discount tickets frequently available to London. If you’ve ever wanted to go to Europe or if you long to return, this is the opportunity you have been waiting for!