How's your family doing?

When asked that question, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? Do you think of the current crisis one of your kids is facing? Do you immediately compare your family to that of someone else? If so, do you pick a family you consider to be better or worse than your own?

Perhaps you are facing tough decisions regarding a parent or another relative that is extremely ill. Is that what looms foremost in your thinking when someone asks how you are doing? Maybe a new grandbaby has just arrived. Is that what you think of first when asked how your family is doing?

Do you feel your family is strong no matter what happens? Or does it seem that relationships ebb and flow with the circumstances? Are you willing to speak freely about your marriage, but don't want to say much about your family? Or do you always give a good report, no matter what is happening?

Name and Mission Change

When the Lord had us change the name of the ministry, something powerful happened in the Spirit realm. The anointing of God on each of us changed from ministering solely to marriages and expanded to ministering to families as well. Another way of looking at it is that a one-generational anointing expanded to a multi-generational one.

Now our new mission and anointing not only affect those to whom we minister,  but our own families as well. The transparency that has been the hallmark of this ministry in our marriages is now required in our families as well.

God has shifted the spotlight from our marriages to our families and what we are experiencing as a family is now as much a part of our ministry as is our marriage. 

Many leaders have told us that since the name change they have experienced greater challenges in their own families. Some have felt that these circumstances disqualified them from leadership as UofF leaders. Indeed, just the opposite is true.

Every family experiences challenges. Every family has wonderful victories and painful defeats. The people to whom we minister need to know how to walk through each of the circumstances they face. We can give them hope as we share what the Lord has done in our own families.

Before we can help others find answers for their families, we have to be honest about our own.  Those of us who have been called and anointed to transform families by the power of God must lead the way.

If our finances were attacked, we looked for places to give from what we had. If our health was attacked, we looked for others who needed prayer for healing. If our child was walking through a difficult time, we looked for others whose children were also in challenging situations. 

We saw so much victory in the midst of those attacks that we began to rejoice ahead of time knowing that God was going to do something powerful for all of us.

A New Ministry Realm

As Parents for Life is spreading across the country, we are hearing exciting testimonies about what God is doing in grandparents, parents, children, and grandchildren. Couples who are willing to live their family life transparently are experiencing miraculous results in the lives of others. 

At the same time, we are seeing some couples draw back from ministry as their family falls short of their hopes and expectations. The enemy has convinced them that they are not qualified to minister to families
Others are experiencing pain as their children make decisions that are totally contrary to what they believe as parents. They think they did something wrong or that the principles they have taught are not working. Otherwise their children would not be doing what they are doing. 

Honesty

Somehow we have grown to believe that we can share about our marriage while it is in process, but our families must be a finished product before we can be truly honest about them. 

Part of the problem may be that in the Body of Christ we have not always been totally honest about our families. Maybe it's because we don't want to share our details with others or perhaps it's because it involves the lives of our children and we want their permission before we share. 

When a marriage faces problems, it is easy for each spouse to blame the other. When children have problems, though, parents feel guilty and blame themselves. Maybe that is why it is easier to be transparent about marriages than families.

Whatever the reason, we tend to give good reports when asked how our families are doing. Because of this, we often don't receive the help we need and we don't offer much hope to others who are seeking answers for theirs.

Recently we were talking with a couple whose daughter married a couple years ago. We asked how she and her husband were doing and heard a wonderful report of a sublimely happy couple. Since our own children faced many challenges in their first years of marriage, we shared that with them. Tears filled the wife's eyes as she felt free to share regarding the turmoil that the young couple was experiencing.  Their marriage was really hurting.

We were able to pray with them and we hope that the words of counsel and encouragement we shared helped them form a new faith vision for their children.

Why could they not have shared with us at first and asked for prayer? Families throughout the Body of Christ are hurting and need help. Our own families are facing many crises and challenges. Yet, often these things are not shared.

We remember years ago a pastor told us that there were no drug addicts or alcoholics in his church. Since he pastored a rather large church, we guessed that could not possibly be true. 

Many churches continue to believe there is no child abuse, no incest, or any other horrific situations occurring in the homes of their families.  No wives are beaten, no teenagers are engaging in group sex, and no men are involved in child pornography. All those things happen in other people's homes. They don't happen in  our churches.

Yet statistics don't bear this out. Christian marriages are divorcing at a slightly higher rate than the world. Every day Christian men and women are leaving their spouses and children for someone they met on the Internet. Children brought up in Christian homes are victims of incest and abuse. Drugs and alcohol have many Christians in their grip. Yet you'd never know any of that was happening by listening to the words Christians speak about their families.

Secrets

Before we can help others find answers for their families, we have to be honest about our own.  We must stop smiling and giving glowing answers and become real and honest with each other. And those of us who have been called and anointed to transform families by the power of God must lead the way.

To do this we must stop living secret lives. We have to become honest with ourselves first. We have to face our own sin and our own disobedience to God. If we are hiding things, it is hard to ask others how they are doing and really want to hear their cry for help. If we are ashamed of situations in our own family and are working to keep things undercover, we will be reluctant to step out in open ministry.

We can't shrink back when we face attacks. We can't quit ministering when the principles of the Word of God are challenged in our ownfamily. When our family doesn't look like the Biblical model, that's the exact time we need to raise God's standard high for others as well as ourselves. 

How else will people see how God moves in difficult circumstances? How else will they know that being a Christian doesn't mean we never face problems, but that we trust the Lord in the midst of them? How else will those who are lost find hope in the promises of God?

God's Grace, Not Our Perfection

We have all made mistakes as parents and the grace of God has carried our families. Our children make choices, some based on what we have done and said and some based on their own desires. Their lives reflect on us as parents to some extent, but also showcase their own beliefs and decisions. The key is to learn to be a family God's way in all circumstances.

In Married for Life we teach of life patterns that are combined when a couple marries. As our children have grown and married, we have also learned that those combined life patterns are infused into our family as well.  So as a family grows, new points of view and beliefs become part of the mix. New blessings come right along with new challenges. 

Families are dynamic, not static. They are constantly changing and developing. There are good times and not so good times. Be encouraged! That is part of family life. Allow God to move powerfully in your own family and be willing to reach out to others.

As you share transparently about your family, as you honestly face the challenges and allow God to move in each family member's life, you will be a great encouragement to others. 

As they see the blessings you receive from Him and watch you walk through challenges with Him, they will see that God loves families and He can help them face anything that comes their way. 
 

Have you visited the University of the Family message boards yet?
If not, go to www.marriage.org/communicate    :: Learn4Life Forum

Ever wanted to travel to other nations? This is the year to do it!

Take advantage of one of the international conventions offered this year around the world. What a wonderful opportunity to meet leaders from other countries and hear of what God is doing in their nations. Check out the schedules in this newsletter!

Please pray for the U of F Leaders Now Teaching In:

Albania, Angola, Argentina, Australia, Bahamas, Bahrain, Belarus, Belgium, Bolivia, Botswana, Brazil, Canada, China, Colombia, Cook Islands, Costa Rica, Cuba, Denmark, East Timor, Ecuador, Egypt, El Salvador, England, Ethiopia, Fiji, Finland, France, Germany, Ghana, Guatemala, Guyana, Haiti, Honduras, Hungary, India, Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Jordan, Kenya, Kyrgyzstan, Macau, Malaysia, Mexico, Mongolia, Netherlands Antilles, New Zealand, Nigeria, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Philippines, Portugal, Puerto Rico, Romania, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Scotland, Senegal, Singapore, Slovakia, South Africa, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sudan, St Kitts, St Lucia, Sweden, Switzerland, Tanzania, Thailand, Togo, Uganda, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, Uruguay, USA, Venezuela, Vietnam, Zimbabwe

We are considering online international subscriptions for Legacy Magazine.  This would make international delivery far less expensive and much quicker.

If this is something you would be interested in for yourselves or if you would like to give a gift subsription to someone in another nation, please contact us here.

LEGACY magazine is catching on! 
Over 600 subscriptions have come in during the past two months! Your new copy will be arriving soon! 
This month we are focusing on subscriptions for military families. Start making a list of those you would like to bless with a gift subscription.

Prayer

For healing for Joanna Bierman (Atlanta Area Directors)

For healing for Julie Good (Central Mountain/North Idaho Directors)

For healing for Glen Samuelson (Boise City Directors)

For the marriages of couples who have graduated from OFL groups

For the sale of the Ascot Event Center 

For the formation of apostolic/pastoral teams throughout the ministry

For strong, faithful leadership couples to come forth  this year.

For the three regional conferences being held in the next two months

Frances Mahoney is now the prayer co-ordinator in the International Headquarters. You may contact her directly with your prayer requests or leave them online at the prayer message board on our website. 

303 933-3331 or  by email.
 

Visit Europe and be part of this dynamic event!

London, England 
October 29-31 
Contact: Roy and Elaine Hitchman 
uk.office@mmi-europe.or

Be a History Maker! 
Attend the first Asian University of the Family Convention
 

August 27-29 in Singapore
Contact: Rusty and Debbie Lake
Asiauf@pacific.net.sg

Canada Is Calling!

October 22-23, Calgary, Alberta
Contact: Dennis and Shelly Roberts
dennis@mmi.ca or shelly@mmi.ca

Reflections 2004 Conference

New Zealand, Oct 21-24
Contact: Russell and Kim Lines
russell.kim@xtra.co.nz

The Fog of War
Gil Jones, aka the Mailroom Guy

Since at any given time there are  from 25 to 40 different wars and conflicts going on around the globe, the term "fog of war" is not new to us. "Brain Fog" is another term that we hear often. It describes fuzzy thinking, confusion and the inability to act. Perhaps there is a connection between the two.

Although we know that our weapons are powerful in the Holy Spirit for pulling down strongholds, why is it that our weapon systems often seem to misfire and not seem effective? Could there be a connection with the fog of war?

In Order
James 4 directs us to "Submit to God, resist the devil, and he will flee from you". Not only are we to fight the enemy, but we are to do so in obedience to the authority of God. Obedience brings clarity to the believer. 

If we're fighting in the spirit realm without first submitting to God, that clarity is not there. The fog of war will remain. Peter said "We must obey God rather than men" (Acts 5:29). You can almost see the fog of fear dissipate with his words. 

The first part of Hebrews 5:8 says, "Although He was a son, He learned obedience by the things which He suffered." As a leader you have, no doubt, experienced suffering. Could it be that God intends for you to learn obedience in those situations as well? Perhaps God is not so interested in what we are going through as to how we are responding to it. 

Two Ways

There are two ways to walk through suffering. One is to submit in obedience to God and the other is to question where He is in the midst of the circumstances. If your suffering isolates you from God, you become more and more compartmentalized as you break fellowship with Him and His servants. It is easy to then descend into a "fog" of hopelessness and despair. 

When you remain in fellowship with Him, though, as His child you know the suffering is temporary, and the joy and peace of realizing that enables you  to endure. Obedience is The Fog Lifter that empowers you to advance the Kingdom of God on planet earth! 

Alliances

From micro to macro, consider the following: In a recent best seller, John Gibson discusses an historic pattern - ALL historic alliances and coalitions fall apart once the conflict that created them is over, or is perceived to be over. 

Loyalties and commitments forged in the heat of battle dissipate; not into neutrality, but into open criticism from the weaker towards the stronger partners. 

The United States and Israel have consistently chosen to confront and defeat their enemies. Yet alliances formed in those conflicts in the past have disappeared in the heat of today's battles. Western Europe, once their greatest friend, now breeds open hatred and opposition for both countries. 

Have you discovered that "old alliances" forged during past warfare have turned away in current battles? If you're having trouble holding your leadership "alliance" together to accomplish the vision God has given you, chances are it's not a "resist the devil" problem as much as a "submit to God" problem. 
Many are willing to fight the enemy but do not want to submit to God's plan for their lives. The brain fog that many experience is an attack directly from the enemy. Obedience can reverse the fog of battle and strike fear in the enemy's camp. 

"God is not a God of confusion,"  so let's settle it once and for all, as Peter did. Remember his words, "we must obey God." When we are submitted to Him, then we can successfully fight the enemy. Then deceptions which have hindered us will dissolve into redemptive action that accomplishes His will.

Regional Conferences

Don't miss a great opportunity right in your own neighborhood!
 

Region 1

 Portland, OR
 May 21-23
 Contact: Jim and Kathy Speer
 206 542-3669 or jks4ever1@yahoo.com

 St Paul, MN
 Apr 30- May 2
 Contact: Brent and Pam Greenlee
 651 699-2342 or bpgreenlee@prodigy.net

 Dallas, TX
 Jun 11-13
 Contact: Gerry and Nancy Gardner
 512 288-2097 or gngard@family.net

 Atlanta, GA
 Mar 25-27
 Contact: Jack and Pam McLaughlin
 407 344-2450 or webejam@earthlink.net

Training Opportunities

Married for Life Training

14-May-04     Pottstown, PA
14-May-04     Carlsbad, NM
11-Jun-04      Ishpeming, MI
25-Jun-04      Boise,  ID

UofF Combined Training (MFL/PFL)

22-Oct-04     Wilmington, NC
25-Jun-04     Buckley, WA 

Training is scheduled often so check the training information page of the website for up-to-date information.   www.marriage.org

Conference Comments from Region 5 

"In short, we expected to receive a word from God concerning our ministry to marriages through Mike and Marilyn Phillipps. We were frankly running low on fuel and expected to fill up. We also expected to get to know Mike and Marilyn and others. Finally we were looking forward to receiving an update on the U of F. Our expectations were definitely met. We left the conference SO rejuvenated and reinvigorated. Indeed, we received a call to arms from the Lord through the Phillipps' words. Wife left there feeling free to "be me" after experiencing the transparency and love of Mike and Marilyn. For me (husband) I felt the strength of God's army against those who would challenge His most sacred institution, marriage. We left the conference more committed than ever to fight for healthy, godly marriages along with generals like the Phillipps. I was also struck by the love and transparency of Mike and Marilyn We thoroughly enjoyed meeting new brothers and sisters while getting to know old friends better." 

"We had never been to a leaders conference before and did not know what to expect. Did expect to have a deeper understanding of marriage, parenting and to grow in wisdom and anointing. Our expectations were met above all we could think or ask. The revelation pouring out of Mike and Marilyn was so significant. I have a new found respect for U of F and what is being done by and through them and the conference birthed in me (wife) a new fire for the mission of U of F. It was a wonderful experience. Also to see the heart of the other leaders, them having a joyous spirit and such honor for the marriage covenant."

"Hearing Michael and Marilyn describe the heart of the ministry was exciting. Changes in requirements for speaking in tongues and the need for LIT were timely and appropriate. We thought the changes in these requirements were explained very well. Mike's emphasis on expecting a return on investment in leadership was very significant. While we knew this happened, vocalizing it to those being taught brought more light to mentoring and discipling." 

"We came expecting a time of refilling and refreshment. We received. It's always uplifting to be around couples with the same heart and same vision. We're glad to see the changes in the ministry and the willingness of Mike and Marilyn to change with the times. Wife shared, gave me a greater vision of what God can do through U of F and how the vision can be expanded to work with the marriage ministries of churches. Husband shared, it was significant to see how strong the marriage ministries are in the Atlanta area."

Promotions Across the USA

Texas

Robert and Olga Estes are the new San Antonio City Directors